It's been a long month.

I haven't been able to post. I have been too mentally exhausted to tell the truth. Leila is doing fine she a moving about. Alec is struggling with school however he is in therapy and taking a new medication.  It's working wonders. We are slowly reintegrating his schooling back in...is so slow..and he'll behind for awhile...however there is nothing to be done about it.

I have been crocheting a lot lately...nerves equal nervous energy...lol.

Now some photos from the past month or so.

Our Nation's sex education needs some help.

Honestly I hate abortion.  It terrifies me that someone can even be cold enough to have one.  However it is not my place to judge other women either, I am not that righteous and never will be. The moment someone thinks they are righteous enough to judge someone else, they lose said righteousness. That being said, the general populace needs to realize that there is more to Planned Parenthood then abortion.  If it weren't for planned parenthood, I wouldn't have gotten to see a gynecologist when I needed to so badly for my misdiagnosed PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome).  Birth Control is not evil either.  Further on that subject, sex education lacking on a national scale.

I don't think it's okay to for girls and boys to run around and have meaningless sex. Saying that you have to realize that people treat the word sex like a cuss word.   As a people we tend to avoid it in everyday conversation.  Is it more inappropriate to avoid saying sex and have people come up with all sorts of other word and phrases that are just wrong. I could probably name a few hundred terms that I grew up with, because it was taboo to say sex, or even talk about sex at all.

 News flash to the nation. We are humans, humans are mammals, mammals are animals, animal have instincts, instincts are key to survival.  Part of survival on the large scale is populating the earth with babies, which...gasp...requires sex between a male and a female.  We have a leg up on all the other animals on earth we have the intelligence to control our instincts. We don't have to be as abrupt with our passions and hormones, and we have the opportunity to raise our children with this enlightenment too.  This is not happening though.  It seems that society has chosen to keep sex a dirty little secret. Plain stupidity!

Sex isn't a dirty little secret at all.  You can sugar coat it say it needs romance. Well technically know it doesn't it.  Is romance nice? Certainly, however technically it not needed to get the job done.  So while we paint the idea of romance in our children's minds, their hormones are going crazy and telling them to do this and that.  And while they are being raised to not talk about sex, they do what all intelligent mammals do....experiment to see what works.  Why?  Mostly because they do not have information on sex. They don't know what it is truly.  They are told to not think about it.  However they don't know the basics on what happens.

I realize that all the previous makes me sound like I am saying that sexual morals having nothing to do with sex education.  Which would be inaccurate.  Please by all means teach the sexual morals...but present sex in a more scientific fashion.  Do be afraid to use the correct anatomical names for body parts.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a child saying penis, or vagina.  It's the same as saying brain, heart, liver, stomach...etc.

I mean I am all about teaching the appropriate time to say these things.  When my son was 4 or 5 he had fell in Church, and he came up to me and said he had hurt his penis and testes with tears in his eyes.  He was trying not to grab himself because he has been taught that it's not  nice to grab oneself like that.  However instead of people seeing this one of the women my age, gasped because he said penis and testes.  Here's the kicker...I found out she's a nurse later on. Come on!  Really?  He didn't yell it, he didn't even talk loud. I comforted him and that was that.

So Planned Parenthood has a place because as a society we created that place for it be.  Which makes me angry and sad all at once.   I have nothing wrong with birth control, it saved my life, fixed my PCOS and I got pregnant...it's was a miracle and unplanned, but without Birth Control, my condition may have gotten worse.  There is little awareness out there for  PCOS...more then used to be still not enough.  

So far so.....so.

Okay I said that I would get a tape measure and post my measurements.  I DID get the tape measure and I haven't done my measurements yet.  I'll get a helper later today...that is on my 'TO DO' list today.  However I I am making progress toward drinking water, and less soda!  I noticed that my body responded more quickly to the changes this time.  It's like it's say, "Thank you moron, what took you so long?".

I have not lost weight yet, however I haven't gained either.  I do notice I feel better then I did yesterday...so I'm gonna go fill my water bottle.  Also I am planning on making part of my DS schooling workouts with Mom. He needs to learn the value of fitness too!

And Just because I can here's a pic to brag about!

Just Another Mom trying to lose the weight.

Yeap you guessed..I am going to whine, rant and celebrate my weight lose journey.  I have done it before but I stopped when I got pregnant.  I didn't want to stop but the doctor, (truthfully the baby), stopped me.  Then I was going to jump back on track afterward and healing from the c-section proved difficult. After that my daughter had to have surgery so that was my excuse.

Some people say, "Well Leila's only 5 months old." or "Well Leila did have surgery."  Well yeah but I'm good at making excuses.  Frankly I believe that most, NOT ALL, but most obese people out there are good at making excuses, to themselves and everyone else.  I have watched shows like the Biggest Loser, and Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition, and figured I wasn't, "that bad".  I was wrong....just wrong.  If I don't do something about it, I may not be able to. I'm not looking for someone to enable me, if I call myself fat, it's not self depreciation, it is the God's honest truth. Call and spade a spade and get over it!

fat

    adjective, fat·ter, fat·test, noun,verb, fat·ted, fat·ting.

adjective

1.

having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese: a fat person.  *

I have lost weight before not quite 120 pounds, at that time I weighed 180 lbs and I was feeling good.  180 lbs is still overweight for my 5'4' medium build stature, but I weighed almost 300 lbs when I started.  Now I weight 220 lbs and I am NOT fit!  My DD isn't getting any smaller. I look at what my mother goes through, and I see my step-father in the hospital with heart issues.  It brings me around to one thing...my own mortality.  If I don't do something today, I won't be here when my children are my age.
So it starts now..it starts today.

Today I am 30 years old, I weigh 220 lbs, and I am 5'4".  I shall buy a tape measure tomorrow and post my measurements.  I'm bearing all. Plain and simple if I want my ass to get any smaller...I have to MOVE IT!
Because....

I want this happiness back.

First goal...drink 8 glasses of water/day and only one soda and work out 3 times/week or more.

*http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fat

Beginning anew.

I'm gonna try this  'blog thing'.  I have always been a bit behind the trends when it comes to things like blogs.  I don't have a problem with computers and I definitely don't have a problem stating my opinion. However it's about time to get this party started.
A little bit about me and my life:

My name is Heather Birdwell and I am currently am 30 years old.  I have two children, a 9 year old boy and a 5 month old girl.  Yes, yes that's 9 years...trust me I was surprised.  My DS name is James Alec, and my DD is  Leila Celeste. My DH namd is Jared Birdwell; we have been married a combined 7 years, but right now we are on year 3. :)

Alec

Alec goes by his middle name because of the several members of the family, both Jared's and mine are name James.  Alec was born in October 2001, in Beloit Kansas. Currently Alec attends Lawrence Virtual School, this is just a better fit for him because of his ADHD.  He is highly intelligent, which actually makes it harder for him to control his tendencies.  These are called 'shiny moments' in our household...'Oooooo shiny...what what?" You get the idea.

Leila

Leila, my little surprise gem.  Leila is named after my Great Great Grandma Leila Gordon.  She was born in April of this year (2011), via planned C-section. Everything seemed to be fine and we went home.  Everything was still fine at her 1 week check up. Day 15 of life she went into shock, and we were flown to Children's Mercy Hospital. There she was diagnosed with Shone's Complex.  She spent all of May 2011 in the PICU, and they preformed open heart surgery, on May 24th to fix her heart. She came home June 6th 2011, with no heart meds, no monitors and eating out of a bottle. The only medicines she's on are for reflux and vitamins.  There were complications of the shock and the surgery that I will get into at a later time.  However she is catching up quickly.

Jared

Jared is 30 years old and attended FHJCC, where we met.  He does have a plumbing degree, however that is not a 'recession proof' job. Jared is pursuing his new career at Ellsworth Steak House as a cook.  Our ultimate goal is to move back to the Kansas City Area so that Jared can go to culinary school...specifically Johnson County. I do miss Kansas City really bad.

Me, Me, Me

I attended Flint Hills Job Corps in Manhattan, Kansas. There I graduated from Manhattan High School and from the Business Office Technology Program.   I was a CNA for about 7 years, working in geriatrics exclusively.  Then I went to Pinnacle Career Institute in KC MO for Massage Therapy and went on to pass my National Certification. I am currently pursuing that....kind of. Right now I am a SAHM because of Leila and Alec.  Alec is 'home schooled' because of his behaviors an Leila can not be placed in day care yet.

People that read this might want to adjust expectations.  I don't have perfect grammar and I don't consider myself to be the most experienced in this world's affairs.  I hate politics, but I do love long walks on the beach...lol.  All kidding aside...my life is an open book at this point.  No use in hiding your life from people, they'll be able to tell you are hiding something. You'll only be hiding your life from yourself, then it'll come bite you in the rear. So I shall draw this too a close and 'call it good'. More to follow...when I feel like it!